I don't know if it's the pregnancy or the hormones or Ben's current milestones but I am reaching my end point. I have been an emotional mess, and feeling inadequate. Basically I feel like I did when I had a newborn, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!!!
I am spread a little thin right now, I have 2 grad classes to finish my masters this semester, working, preparing maternity plans, grading, planning, cleaning, washing dishes, getting daycare supplies ready everyday, etc, etc. Today I stayed way late at work like 3 hours later to get more organized with my lesson plans so when I'm 9 months pregnant I'm not putting together crap lessons because I don't care and am carrying sausages disguised as my feet. Then picked Ben up, who was wonderful but screamed like I was kidnapping him as I put him in his carseat, then cried again when we were 2 miles from home then threw himself on the floor, when I brought him in. Then there was blood, BLOOD!!! My baby's mouth was bleeding!
Somehow he bit the inside of his lip while throwing his tantrum, and so panic of parents aside, we recovered. He then trashed the living room, refused to eat dinner, then threw up the little bit I managed to trick him into eating. Then when putting him to bed he crawled down, ran away from me and so I gathered him up and tried to wrangle him and soothe him while he arched his back. So in reaction to this, I cried, I CRIED!
I can only think that this is the start of a hormonal breakdown. I am feeling super run down, can't get enough sleep, anxiety ridden (that might be the reason I can't sleep), and just overall not liking my life right now. And I don't know how to really fix it. I've had breaks from being a mom, and being a wife. But it doesn't seem to make a difference.
HELP!
No comments:
Post a Comment